One of the more recent trends in baby-naming is to slam together meaningless syllables until the parents believe the resultant chimera of sounds is a name. This trend is most noticeable among the Black community, with such oddities as "Laticia", "Moesha", "Tamika", "Laquanda", "Antwaine", and "Kameelah" all having been documented, along with a pile of three-syllable words ending in "sha". However, other racial groups also participate in this abomination, with ludicrous monikers like "Jaley", "Keegan", and the short but still preposterous "Zoe".
"Scrabble Draw" names ensure that the child will be the only one bearing that name, thereby avoiding the embarrassment of turning one's head because someone was talking about somebody else of the same name. The greatest danger in using "Scrabble Draw" names is that of hubris.
Using a "Scrabble Draw" name could be seen as an expression of originality, but it is also offensive to the memory of one's ancestors. Generating a name through a Scrabble draw says to one's ancestors, "Your names were not good enough for us. No one in the past is worthy of the mere children of today. The modern era is the greatest of all possible eras. Everything in the past should be abhorred and disposed of. That includes the rule about not ending sentences with prepositions."
Nations in the Far East have not taken to the trend of conjuring up new names for their children. The Far East also has a record of venerating ancestors. Could this be a coincidence? Perhaps. But the Fellows of the I.N.C.H. would not be surprised if the spirits of ages long past come back to avenge themselves on the mother of little baby Tyreece.
Examples of the "Scrabble Draw" Category:
- Shaquille O'Neal
- Kobe Bryant
- Reese Witherspoon
- Orenthal J. Simpson